“They create experiences. They pay attention to every detail, and we really enjoy that.”
Zaylan: We’re excited to get to know you a little bit better. First and foremost, where did you grow up, and where is home to you now?
Brian: My dad was in the Air Force for 20 years, so throw a dart at a U.S. map and we’ve probably lived there.
I was born in Hawaii. My wife, Kayla, and I have been married 32 years — going on 33 this year — and we live in Christiansburg, Virginia, just outside Blacksburg where Virginia Tech is. That’s home for us. We’ve lived here for 22 years.
Zaylan: Amazing. And that’s The Corner House, right?
Brian: That is. We have a corner house up on the side of a mountain, and when I started my consulting business, we were racking our brains trying to come up with a name.
We landed on Corner House because, literally, we are the corner house.
Now I worry about what happens if we ever move.
Zaylan: Awesome. What’s your favourite place you’ve travelled too so far?
Brian: Switzerland, hands down.
We went probably 25 years ago, and it’s the most beautiful country we’ve ever visited. It almost feels like you’re looking at a painting. It’s expensive, but man, it’s beautiful. We loved it there.
Zaylan: And what’s on the bucket list? Where do you most want to go?
Brian: I’d love to take Kayla to Italy — Rome specifically — or spend a week together in London.
We’ve been to England and Scotland before, but I’d say London and Rome are the big ones.
Zaylan: Awesome. What’s your favourite hotel you’ve stayed at during your travels?
Brian: Favourite hotel? We’ve never stayed at a Ritz-Carlton. We do Disney once or twice a year, though, so I’d say Disney’s Beach Club at Walt Disney World in Florida.
They create experiences. They pay attention to every detail, and we really enjoy that.
Zaylan: So, bucket-list hotel would be a Ritz-Carlton?
Brian: Absolutely.
We’d love to do one of those Ritz-Carlton safaris they’re opening. I’d probably be terrified the whole time because of lions and tigers and bears and warthogs, but yeah, I’d love to go.
Zaylan: Nice. I know some people working on those.
Brian: Yeah, I know a guy.
Zaylan: Let’s do a few rapid-fire ones: favourite book, movie, food, and drink?
Brian: Favourite book is Forged in Crisis by Nancy Koehn, a Harvard professor.
Favourite movie? Tombstone, probably tied with The Empire Strikes Back.
Favourite food — this is my deep Louisiana roots coming out — fried chicken. Nothing beats a good piece of fried chicken.
Favourite drink: non-alcoholic is Coke Zero. Alcoholic is rum and Coke.
Zaylan: Awesome. Favourite sport?
Brian: Professional golf. The PGA.
Early Influences and the Roots of Leadership
“As a leader, your North Star is what pulls you through the difficult days. It’s what helps you endure.”
Zaylan: Looking back at your early years, what experiences first shaped your interest in leadership and mentoring?
Brian: Watching my dad.
He was in the Air Force, and he was a leader. One thing that really stuck with me was hearing about his time in Vietnam. Later, when I was old enough to understand what happened over there, I started asking him questions.
He told me it was his job to fly into areas where American planes had been shot down. His plane would land in a clearing — or at least try to — and his men would get out, recover as much technology as possible from the downed aircraft, load it onto their plane, and take off again.
Dad said there were multiple times he could hear gunshots hitting the side of the plane.
I asked him, “Why did you do it?”
He said, “I had a wife and a son.”
I asked if he was scared, and he told me, “When you sign up for the military, you count the cost. You could die at any time.”
That shaped how I think about leadership. Here was my dad leading men through situations where the stakes were life and death.
Zaylan: I love that. That’s a great answer. How did your studies in history and English, and later your divinity work, influence your approach to leadership coaching?
Brian: I’ll start with the divinity side of it.
I completed 59 hours toward a Master of Divinity, so my faith plays a big role in how I see leadership. I believe people are made in the image of God. That means people have value. They should be respected, cared for, honoured, and nurtured. People deserve investment so they can become the best version of themselves.
Then with history and English, I became fascinated by leaders like Abraham Lincoln, FDR, Churchill, and Ulysses S. Grant — these giants who won wars and saved nations.
But the more I read about them, the more I realized they were no different than us. They had insecurities. Lincoln would get so stressed he’d lie in bed with a vomit bucket beside him while his cabinet sat there asking him to make key decisions.
These men had worries. They doubted themselves. And yet they still accomplished extraordinary things.
That really sparked my curiosity about leadership.
Gaby: Before I jump into my questions, I wanted to ask about your divinity studies. Were they cross-cultural, or mainly Christian-based?
Brian: Christian-based.
Gaby: Let’s talk a little about leadership philosophy. You wrote a book called Leadership Endurance, and it focuses on resilience in leadership. What’s the most surprising lesson you learned about enduring as a leader?
Brian: That every single leader has doubts.
Churchill thought he’d lose World War II. Lincoln thought he’d lose the Civil War. Grant believed he was useless. FDR worried that if he took the U.S. into war, voters would turn against him.
Every leader has doubts.
But you must have a North Star — a point of truth, a core value you refuse to waver from. Every great leader, whether it’s Lincoln or Churchill or Alexander the Great, had that guiding principle.
As a leader, your North Star is what pulls you through the difficult days. It’s what helps you endure.
Gaby: I love that. Are some of the blogs we get at Ellis Adams Group connected to that book?
Brian: No. Those are stories I didn’t use in the book.
Gaby: Ah, okay. Interesting. What does the phrase leadership endurance mean to you, especially in fast-paced industries like hospitality?
Brian: Hospitality is always changing. People’s expectations are always changing.
A guest comes back to a hotel wanting the same incredible experience they had last time, even though things behind the scenes may be completely different. The whole industry constantly evolves.
Endurance, in that context, means staying focused on people.
Keep delighting them. Keep meeting and exceeding expectations. If you let constant change throw you off course, you won’t succeed. You must endure in serving customers well.
Lessons from Dad
“Charisma is overrated. Character is underrated.”
Zaylan: In Be Like Dad, you use personal stories to teach leadership principles. Can you share a moment from your own life that still guides your leadership philosophy today?
Brian: I wrote Be Like Dad the year after my father died from cancer.
Leadership Endurance did very well commercially but Be Like Dad was an absolute failure as a book. Still, it’s my favourite thing I’ve written.
There are so many stories I could tell about Dad, but I’ll never forget the lessons he drilled into me:
“Son, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.”
And, “People deserve respect.”
Dad worked at a big paper mill overseeing all the electrical operations, and once a month he’d cook a big lunch for his team just to thank them.
That’s culture. That’s leadership.
He respected people, honoured them, and taught me to pursue excellence in everything I do.
Zaylan: What role do values and character play in successful leadership beyond strategy or technical skill?
Brian: That’s a loaded question.
I think if you lie in your private life, there’s a good chance you’ll lie in your public life. If you cheat in your private life, there’s a good chance you’ll cheat publicly too.
Charisma is overrated. Character is underrated.
Now, if you can combine the two, you’ve really got something special. But people are often drawn to charisma without looking under the hood.
Is there a North Star? Is there character? Is there a real foundation there?
To me, values and character are everything.
Zaylan: Is character something people are born with, or something they can intentionally cultivate?
Brian: You’re born with certain aspects of it, sure. But you must choose wisely. And you probably need good mentors in your life who model what good decisions look like.
Coaching Begins with Relationship
“Care builds trust, trust creates influence, and influence allows you to lead.”
Gaby: Let’s talk about coaching and mentoring. When you meet someone for the first time as a coaching client, what do you focus on first, and why?
Brian: Honestly, I focus on building the relationship.
I meet with a lot of folks from Ellis Adams Group, and they can tell you the first two or three times we meet, I’m not talking about anything “important.” At least not in the traditional sense.
To me, it is important. I want to get to know you.
What’s your name? Are you married? What’s your spouse’s name? Do you have kids? Pets? My goal is to understand the person first.
There’s a leadership truth I live by:
Care builds trust, trust creates influence, and influence allows you to lead.
If people don’t believe you care about them, they’re not going to trust you. And if the only thing you ever talk about is business or sales, then they’ll assume you only care about the dollars.
You have to care about the person beyond the role they fill.
So when I meet someone for the first time, I want to understand who they are as a person because that unlocks so much about how they think and what matters to them.
Gaby: That’s great. And I imagine making a difference in someone’s life — and knowing you made a difference — has to be one of the most rewarding experiences there is.
Can you describe a breakthrough moment you’ve had while mentoring someone, where you realized your coaching truly impacted them?
Brian: One thing I’ll often do is ask people, “Tell me about a win you had last week. Tell me about something you messed up last week.”
As they talk, something they say will usually remind me of a story — maybe about Steve Jobs, Jack Welch, Abraham Lincoln, somebody like that.
And then you see it happen.
You see something click. It’s honestly one of the most rewarding things. Suddenly they start saying, “Okay, I could do this,” or, “I need to think about this differently.”
You can literally watch the shift happen in real time.
That’s incredibly rewarding for me.
Care, Candor, and Gratitude
“Candor solves problems faster and moves organizations forward quicker.”
Zaylan: You’ve led and advised organizations for decades —
Brian: How long? How long?
Zaylan: Brian had a bone to pick with that wording.
Brian: “Decades?” How old do y’all think I am? Anyway, go ahead.
Zaylan: What are some common leadership challenges teams face today, and how do you help address them?
Brian: The biggest one is weak culture.
And what I mean by that is an environment where people don’t really care about each other — they’re just there to get the job done.
If you want a great organization, start with care.
Take five or ten minutes every day and ask, “How was your evening? What’d you do this weekend?” Just see people. Really listen to them.
Most people hardly have anyone who genuinely listens and pays attention to them.
The second thing is candor.
We don’t deal with problems head-on. We dance around issues and hope people figure out what we mean.
Use candor. Candor solves problems faster and moves organizations forward quicker.
Third is gratitude.
Honestly, I think we’re terrible at saying thank you as a human race because we want everything to be about us. But when I say thank you, I’m making it about you.
Zaylan: How do you help leaders maintain their sense of purpose during difficult transitions or setbacks?
Brian: First, remind them of the mission.
Why does the organization exist? Why are we here?
Second, go back to the goals. I actually don’t think you should change goals very often. You change tactics.
People say, “The goals are too high,” or, “The goals are too hard.”
No — you probably just haven’t found the right strategy yet.
And finally, I like to remind leaders of their strengths and gifts. Sometimes people just need someone to remind them what they’re capable of.
That’s what helps them get through difficult transitions.
Innovation, Individuality, and Evolution
“Read, find leaders who inspire you, and then be willing to actually talk to someone about it.”
Gaby: Ellis Adams Group emphasizes innovation, individuality, and evolution as pillar values. How do you see your coaching aligning with those values in a hospitality context?
Brian: In hospitality, you have to innovate because the way customers interact with you is constantly changing.
Now people can check into a hotel before they even arrive. They can use their phone as a room key. They don’t have to talk to anybody anymore.
And honestly, that’s a little sad to me, because I want to create experiences that make people smile and feel remembered.
But innovation is still necessary. Even with remote systems and keyless technology, you have to figure out how to create meaningful interactions.
As for individuality, every team member brings different gifts, skills, and tolerances.
Part of my job is pulling those things out of people, understanding where they are, and helping them grow stronger in those areas.
And then there’s evolution.
We have to grow. Organizations never fully arrive, and people never fully arrive either.
There’s a quote I love: “You have to learn to love uphill.”
That’s what life is. That’s what leadership is. You’re always climbing. You have to learn to love the struggle because life never really gets easy. It can get comfortable, but it never gets easy.
So you learn to love uphill.
Gaby: I’ve never heard that phrase before — “learn to love uphill.”
I probably would’ve interpreted it differently, like loving someone where they are currently while knowing they’ll evolve to something greater. That’s a really interesting perspective.
Hospitality can be unpredictable and high-pressure, so what leadership habits do you believe are essential for hospitality leaders to thrive?
Brian: Stay true to your values.
And here’s what I mean by that: you’ll always be tempted to change who you are — or change who the organization is — just to stay successful.
Don’t do that.
Don’t compromise your values or your character. Stay true to them, because that ultimately benefits both you and the company.
Second, stay committed to the mission.
Even when everything feels like a pressure cooker — when you’re wondering how you’re going to make payroll, hire more people, or deal with new competition.
And right now, everybody’s talking about AI as the next competitor.
So how do you respond? You keep getting better.
You have to become better than what AI can offer. You have to create experiences and value that impress people more than ever before.
So the habits are simple, even if they’re hard: stay true to your values, stay committed to the mission, and keep improving.
Zaylan: What’s something you once believed about leadership that you think differently about now, and why?
Brian: When I was younger, I believed a leader had to have all the answers.
That’s hogwash.
You do not have all the answers.
As a matter of fact, as a leader, you want to be the dumbest person in the room. You want to hire people who are smarter and more talented than you.
Then you present the problem or the opportunity, and you let them make it better.
If you think you’re the smartest person in the room, the organization is doomed. Honestly, leaders who see themselves as geniuses scare me a little bit because leadership requires a strong team around you.
Zaylan: How have your own mentors and role models influenced the way you coach others today?
Brian: I’ve had several mentors and coaches over the years, and even now I still think, “What would Dad do?” or “How would Dad handle that?”
I’m not naturally a patient man. Dad wasn’t patient either. But Abraham Lincoln was — almost to a fault.
So when I feel pressure building, I’ll actually remind myself, “Be more like Lincoln.”
He thought things through. He was methodical. He wasn’t trigger-happy.
You learn different lessons from different people.
I had a mentor named Paul Martin — brilliant guy — who taught me something I’ve never forgotten. He said when you have an idea or a proposed solution, imagine placing it in the centre of a clock.
First, look at it from 12 o’clock. Then from 1 o’clock. Then 2 o’clock, and so on.
What he meant was this: you have to learn to examine ideas from every possible angle.
Too often we fall in love with an idea without thinking through the ramifications. That concept has stayed with me forever.
And I love watching Gaby process that visually right now. You can see her thinking through it. That does something good for my soul.
Zaylan’s just over there like, “Okay, what’s next?”
Gaby: I was actually going to jump in and say I love that you explained it visually because I’m a visual thinker.
As soon as you described it like a clock, I could instantly picture it. And now it’ll stick with me because I can literally see it in my head.
So thank you for that.
Zaylan: I do have one follow-up before we get to Gaby’s last question.
For someone younger reading this — especially someone who didn’t grow up around strong mentors or role models — what advice would you give them about finding the right mentor?
Brian: Start reading.
Read about historical figures. Read about people you respect.
For me, it was Lincoln, Churchill, and FDR — people who faced enormous challenges and changed history. For someone else, maybe it’s Nelson Mandela.
What you’ll discover is that these people were no different than you.
They had fears, doubts, weaknesses — and they still accomplished incredible things.
Then go find somebody.
Find an older person you respect. Find a friend. Find me.
Seriously, this is what I do every day. I listen to people, talk with them, and coach them.
Read, find leaders who inspire you, and then be willing to actually talk to someone about it.
“When you touch people’s lives, you should leave them better than you found them.”
Gaby: Looking ahead, what impact do you hope your work will have on the next generation of leaders, especially in creative or service industries like hospitality?
Brian: I hope that 50 years from now, after I’m gone, people won’t say, “Brian was right.”
I hope they say, “I’m a better person because I knew him.”
I hope people think differently because of our conversations. I hope they value people more deeply.
Because when people believe they matter — and when they believe their work matters — they do better work.
Whether it’s hospitality, design, tech, or any other industry, you are touching people’s lives.
And when you touch people’s lives, you should leave them better than you found them.
We shouldn’t leave people worse off.
That’s the kind of culture leaders should create: one where teams are trained to leave people better than they found them.
I think that would be an incredible environment to work in.
Gaby: That’s a fantastic legacy to leave.
Zaylan: Absolutely. That was amazing. Is there anything you wish we would’ve asked, or any lingering thoughts you’d want to share with readers?
Brian: Nothing. It’s honestly been my honour and pleasure. Thank y’all for doing this.
